Scratchy Glitter

Observations for the easily irritated.

Tag: motorcycle gangs

Day 13: I’m Not Up to This Job

What my day consisted of:

–The furnace stopped working last night. Turns out a safety feature had kicked on and shut it off to keep from blowing the house up (or so it thought). Now if only we’d known it would time out after 3 hours, we could have had heat eventually after all.

–I thought I’d lost my billfold, but I’d only put it into a different compartment of the Mobile Command Center (as I call the soft “briefcase” Rom got me).

–But what I mostly did was wrangle with a medical bill vs. insurance payment situation, and if you think I could turn that into an interesting story, you have a touching amount of faith in me.

S.G.’S 13TH POST, 3/28/13–Holy Week: Spy Wednesday

–I try to decide on an outfit for the Grim Reapers’ party.

Day 12: We Are Young Despite the Years

Title courtesy of the R.E.M. song “These Days,” which never fails to make me happy. Of course, it came out in 1986, when I was but 31, so…

Our furnace decided to malfunction tonight, so I should type fast to keep warm! (“I could drive you around all night in a heated police car,” Nick offers with elaborate casualness.) (I expected spell-check to tell me “casualness” wasn’t a word, and it did not. It did, however, tell me that “wasn’t” is not a word. Hmm, my spell-check can’t spell, WHERE CAN I GO?)

ADVENTURES OF THE MILDLY-AMUSING SORT: OVERHEARD ON THE BUS

…A woman was saying, “They told me asking for a cigarette on the boat was panhandling.” She scoffed at the very idea, adding, “They sell cigarettes there, but it’s 12 bucks a pack!”

A few observations:

–You admit that cigarettes are indeed available at the casino,

–Yet you don’t want to spend your money on them, preferring to cadge them from others for free,

–So you can spend your money on slot machines.

I would conclude from these facts that asking for a cigarette on the boat is, indeed, panhandling. I would also conclude that, if you’d saved your money instead of flushing it down the toilet that is the casino, you could afford to pay a dentist to do something about your three missing teeth.

As they tell us at work, “It is not your job to criticize others’ lifestyle choices.” No, I do that for free.

Speaking of things I do for free, Nick described me as a “self-appointed writer.” Well, no one else would appoint me!

S.G. POST #12, 3/27/13–Holy Week: Chrism Tuesday

–I discovered a handbill for a Grim Reapers motorcycle gang anniversary party, promising “Fun! Prizes!” I discovered also that the Reapers actually have a website, which advises us, “Do NOT ask how to join.” I think I will become a self-appointed biker, as well.

Holy Week: Chrism Tuesday

It’s the day that holy oils are traditionally blessed in the Church, which does not require my involvement.

Forgot to mention in yesterday’s Theater of Cruelty installment–I’d told Nick once that if I ever saw him out on patrol, I’d give him the finger and shock the populace. Well, I didn’t do that yesterday, since I wouldn’t hurt his feelings for the world. But I did say, “Hey, hold the door,” which might have caught the attention of the easily scandalized. But Nick’s a well-trained beast who knows his master’s voice, so he complied. I should have made him pay for my drink as well, but I’d already bought it. After all, I plan to buy a Thornton’s drink with the dollar he will soon owe me.

I hesitate to use the expression “I couldn’t make this stuff up,” since it seems to cast doubt on my creative abilities. So let’s just say this sounds like something I would make up, but it’s real:

Grim reaper crossed out with red X

Grim reaper crossed out with red X (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are handbills posted on Franklin Street that say “Help us celebrate the 30th anniversary of the Grim Reapers at 807 W. Indiana Street! 2pm until ??? {until Hell freezes over, I’m guessing} Games! Fun! Prizes!” Yes, you read that right. They have their scary Grim Reaper illustration and everything, but it reads like they’re advertising a church social. “Sounds like fun!” I thought. “I wonder if the police department knows about this? I’m sure they’d like to go, and bring their friends!” I looked for the date, and guess what–there wasn’t one. Maybe they figure those who should know, will know, but in that case, why put out fliers? I told Rom about this and he said, jokingly, “You should go to the Grim Reapers MC website and check–oh no, I bet they really have one.” I checked, and THEY DO. It says, “We are dedicated to the Grim Reaper lifestyle.” And, “Do NOT ask how to join.” Curses, foiled again.

%d bloggers like this: