Retiring in Public

by pjmcbride

WHY I’M BURNT-OUT AND READY TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW

I give you my first 2 calls this shift:

  1. “I know you have a wreck up on Green River Road, but I’ve been sitting in traffic for half an hour, and semis keep turning around in the traffic lane. Someone needs to be out here directing traffic.”

“We don’t have enough manpower for someone to direct traffic. You’ll just have to deal with the situation.”

“But there’s a deputy on the scene just sitting in his car.”

“He’s probably doing the report.”

“Well, that won’t help all the other wrecks that are going to happen on this road. Oh well, my tax dollars at work.” CLICK.

2. “I’m calling back because I’ve been waiting for the police for half an hour.”

“We’ll send someone as soon as we have someone available.”

“Well, y’all are down here all the time any other time. What’s the problem now?”

“That is for high-priority calls. Your report run is not high-priority.”

“Well, if someone broke into your house, it would be high-priority, now wouldn’t it?”

“Not if it wasn’t in progress.”

CLICK. I hate everyone.

BUT AREN’T YOU HELPING PEOPLE?

Well, a guy called yelling, “I got in a wreck and I’m drunk! DUI, DUI!” But he was too drunk to tell me where he was, so I asked to speak to his wife, who sounded equally drunk, and yelled, “IF I KNEW WHERE I WAS, I’DA TOLD YA, YA DUMB BITCH!”

–Yes, it’s all about me. If you want it to be all about you, start your own blog.

 

Advertisements