Love Me 2 Times, I’m Going Away

by pjmcbride

As is traditional, I stole that from the Doors, though it was originally about a, well, much different situation.

BUT WHERE AM I GOING?

(“More to the point, where have you been?” they mutter testily.) Well, I’ve been occupied with….RETIREMENT PLANNING. Isn’t that momentous? And exciting? And scary? And hard to believe? It will occur sometime in May. So what will I be doing? (“Getting on Rom’s nerves” was mentioned as a possibility.) I like to think I’ll be resuming that writing career I abandoned in 1974, and then abandoned again in 1980, due to my congenital lack of a clue. Of course, the likelihood of my acquiring a clue at this late date is in doubt, and I am painfully aware that this sounds like Grandma Retires To Write A Novel, which is one of the major retirement clichés, judging from the vast amount of retirement-related articles I’ve been consuming lately.

IN THE MEANTIME, CRISIS IN PROGRESS CONTINUES…

“I have sort of a non-emergency.” Hardly seems worth the effort, does it? It turned out to be a female dancing in the street. The investigating deputy reported, “She’s wearing light-colored clothing.” OK, carry on.

BUT IN THE END, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

I plan to request being assigned to city dispatch on my final day. (Although I may settle for not being phones, and they would be well-advised to indulge me.) I promise not to end a reckless driving BOL with “Authority tattletale.” Although I was able the other day to say, “Subject texting and driving, authority of another subject talking on a cell phone while driving.” See, I’m just a loose cannon anyway. They’ll be well rid of me.

It’s touching to hear people say things like, “I’m glad I got to work with a legend!” Though one wonders, legendary for what? Skulking in the corner? Not talking? Producing a blog of questionable utility? Someone also called me “winsome,” which is absolutely a first, although it beats “hateful creature,” which is what Nick came up with.

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