Between Stability and Punctuated Equilibrium

by pjmcbride

The title is an actual remark Rom made about our current political situation. I am on vacation and too drunk to explain what he meant. Except that he added, “We might as well be wearing straw fedoras.”

Since I’m on vacation, “Crisis in Progress” has been temporarily suspended. {Note: I am drunk, disregard any typos.} Nevertheless, I feel compelled to inflict you with (I don’t think that’s the verb I  wanted, but alcohol intervened.) (Nick, stop frowning, or I will smite you at my earliest opportunity.) the following.

THINGS NOT TO DO WITH 911

“I don’t know east from west, I’m not from here.” Yeah, east and west are just terms we use only in SouthWest Indiana.

WHY, when we ask, “What color and type of vehicles were involved?” in an accident, do they answer, “I have a 2003 Chevy Impala.” DID I NOT SAY COLOR? WHAT DO YOU THINK OFFICERS LOOKING FOR YOU WILL NOTICE FIRST?

In a related vein, we have–

“911–”

“CXZ915!”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s the license plate! Write it down!”

“Why, exactly?”

“They almost cut me off!”

“OK, what color and type of vehicle was it?” (I say, ignoring the fact that “almost cut me off” doesn’t really count unless they actually succeed in doing so.)

“Why are you asking me that? You have the license plate!”

Well, A.) The vehicle might not be properly licensed, and B.) Which do you think the responding officers will notice first? The license number or the COLOR?

OK, I’ve had enough for now.

 

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