I SUPPOSE I OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION

by pjmcbride

sorry (removing caps lock). Doesn’t it seem like I’m always apologizing for not posting? WELL, DOESN’T IT??

You can just blame Redd’s Hard Mango Ale for everything, which I am on my 2nd can of at the moment. I was going to ease into it gradually, but what the hell.

I have never had one of their “HARD” (sorry, hit caps lock again) ales before. I don’t really know what 8% alcohol content means, since I don’t know the alcohol content of their previous efforts, but what the hell.

This stuff is great. I mean REALLY great (caps lock intended that time). It tastes just like the mango perfume I wore in the early 90’s smelled. (Said perfume courtesy of the lovely Noelle, one of my favorite former co-workers, so called by me because she was born on Christmas Day.) “Wicked Mango” would be a great name for a perfume–actually the body oil Noelle gave me was called “Mango Peligroso,” which means about the same thing. I know this because I got A’s in Spanish in my 2nd attempt at college. I KNOW THE PREVIOUS SENTENCES SHOULD HAVE BEEN PARENTHESIZED DIFFERENTLY, BUT I DON’T CARE.

I KEEP MAKING TYPO’S; IT IS SO ANNOYING AND WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

My lips are getting numb.

I was going to explain about the demise of the post-a-day project, but that all seems so conceptual at the moment. So what the hell.

DRUNK MANICURING

More Raspberry polish. I can only hope that it looks as good tomorrow as it seems to today. It will be on display in all its dubious glory on Christmas Eve.

Good thing I’m safe at home, because otherwise I might become naughty 2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, and wouldn’t that suck? Well, St. Nick knows if I’ve been naughty or nice, right? This knowledge on his part is disconcerting.

I just said “suck.” How unimaginative of me.

It is 2 days before Christmas, right?

What are people on Facebook saying now?? I must find out. (Still sober enough to hit “Save Draft” before exiting) (But is this draft worth saving, really?)

Oh, they’re not talking about me. How dare they?

Before I forget, THANKS TO THE LONELY SOUL WHO FOUND NOTHING NEW ON THIS BLOG AND SO JUST READ 17 OLD POSTS, KTHNXBAI!

MUST APPLY TOP COAT TO MANICURE, BACK MOMENTARILY, AS WE INCORRECTLY SAY THESE DAYS…

OK, I just ruined my manicure, and I don’t even want to say why, so let’s just not talk about it. This is depressing. I may do it over again tomorrow. If I feel like it. Hopefully before I drink anything with the words “Redd’s” on it.

Nick, I sense that you are frowning disapprovingly, so STOP IT RIGHT NOW, OK? I would fight you if you were actually here.

Rom will be back in here in a moment! Hurray!

 

 

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