Glaring Omissions

by pjmcbride

Since I seem determined to tell my medical adventure in non-linear fashion…

THE JOURNEY OF HOWEVER MANY FEET YOUR LARGE INTESTINE IS STARTS WITH A SINGLE BUS RIDE

No, I will not Google to find out how many feet it is.

Rom accompanied me (I was wobbly and cranky from lack of food and sleep) on the bus to St Mary’s. The Washington bus was crowded and lively. One woman in the front of the bus saw people she knew in the back, and hurried to join them. They were right behind us, and proceeded to catch each other up on their criminal activities. (I have dealt before with the fact that people seem to think this is as respectable as talking in public about one’s job.) The winner was a woman who declared:

“They sent a helicopter that shone a light in the window, and even though I came out then, the cops let the dog loose anyway, and it tore my pants leg right off.” The best part of this story is that our local police don’t have a helicopter. (Nick sulks.)  Must have been the drugs talking.

AND SPEAKING OF TALKING DRUGS…

Did I, in fact, love the anesthetic? You be the judge:

They gave me oxygen to breathe while they got the IV going. I thought pure oxygen might give me superpowers, or at least get me high, but it had no effect that I could determine, other than smelling slightly sweet.

{Back again after finishing the bag of tortilla chips at work. Because somebody had to.}

{PSA: I just read that today is World Rabies Day. How do we celebrate, exactly?}

N…………………………………………………………..E………………………………………………………………..WAY

{No, I did not count the dots; why would you think so?}

There was then a brief burning sensation in the vein, which they told me was not unusual under the circumstances. I started getting groggy, and I thought, “When are they going to get started? I’m sleepy, but not really sleepy enough for them to do anything yet.” Then they said, “OK, you’re done!” I wasn’t falling asleep–I was waking up. So I rate the anesthetic as satisfactory.

Anesthetic is weird. It really is like losing an hour of your life. Of course, it’s an hour you wouldn’t want back.

 

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