Stephen Colbert Ripped Me Off Again!

by pjmcbride

…with a feature satirizing celebrities’ “lifestyle” lines. You may recall I took this subject on a long time ago with 2 posts titled “I Am Not a Lifestyle Blogger” and “Maybe I Am a Lifestyle Blogger,” I would say many years ago, but this thing is only a couple years old, so I guess not. I guess this proves that Stephen Colbert and I think alike.

COLONOSCOPY UPDATE!!

…because I don’t have the luxury of forgetting about it, so I’m going to drag you down with me. Well, not with me, exactly.

Today’s highlight was picking up the prescription, called MoviPrep, because someone at the drug company thought they were being funny. This stuff is actually polyethylene glycol, which really sounds like something I shouldn’t be drinking, especially when Rom informed me that it’s actually antifreeze. Sounds like a torture scene in a movie–they capture me and make me drink antifreeze.

I CAN’T ESCAPE MY JOB EVEN ON VACATION

Overheard at McDonald’s, a woman on the phone:

“Do you know how many times I could have called CPS on you?….Well, I tell you what. I’m gonna bring the kid to you right now. And then if you call me and I see your name on the screen, I’m not answering anymore.”    911 call in 3…2….1…..

So you’re saying that–

A. The child has been in a situation justifying Child Protective Services’ intervention numerous times, which you witnessed, and yet you’ve never called about it?

B. This notwithstanding, you’re now going to bring the child back there just to annoy someone?

C. And then not answer the phone?

Must I hate everyone?

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