ADDITION TO THE FIELD SANITATION MANUAL
The Army advises its personnel to bathe at least once every seven days. Nick wants us to know that he adheres to this prescription scrupulously.
CRISES IN PROGRESS
“911 is not for ‘shocking someone back to reality.'”
“Could I have the number for Poison Control? I drank some condensed milk in a can from 1996.” I think that call came from Bad Decision-Making Rob Lowe.
“The Sewer Department work down the street is making sewage back up in my basement. They’re cleaning it up, but not fast enough, so I want a deputy out here.” To do what? Point a gun at them and say “Work faster!”?