Is There Anybody Out There?

by pjmcbride

…just nod if you can hear me…from somewhere far away, a voice can be heard–“Enough obscure Pink Floyd references!” If I write and no one reads, does this blog exist? “Oh sure, blame the victim, you slacker,” they say, a bit more loudly. Ahem.

SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCED

Since I have spent most of the last several days blowing my nose, I call to  mind an ancient Egyptian imprecation:

“Begone, thou cold, son of a cold, fall out on the floor and stink, stink, stink!”

I have the feeling that lost something in translation. Or maybe it gained something. At any rate, I have what I consider a Grade 2 cold: bad enough that I considered getting out of bed and trying to sleep sitting up on the couch, to make breathing easier, but mild enough that I fell asleep again before I could implement that plan. Or maybe I just passed out from lack of oxygen.

AN EXERCISE IN SISYPHEAN FUTILITY

–Walgreen’s employees removing Valentine candy from the shelves and replacing it with identical items in Easter packaging. But, as Sartre said (or maybe it was Camus–I get those guys confused, having dropped out of philosophy class before the time came to actually read them), maybe Sisyphus actually enjoyed going back up that hill.

INSERT HOLIDAY HERE

Brought to us by the ever-observant Rom: It’s been much remarked-upon that the word “Christmas” has been replaced in advertising, etc., by “holiday” (they’ll add “winter holiday” if cornered). But now they’ve started saying that bunnies, eggs, etc., are in celebration of “spring,” not “Easter.” Soon summer and fall will start demanding acknowledgement.

SOMETHING I WILL NOT BE TRYING AT HARDEE’S

Bacon Velveeta wrap. Are they trying to make me sick?

ANOTHER OBSCURE REFERENCE

I am using as many italics as Cosmopolitan magazine did when Helen Gurley Brown was editor. And I’m not even sure Google will help you much here.

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

A little girl, about 3 or 4 years old, struck up a conversation with the McDonald’s employee mopping the floor near her. “My Nana peed in that bathroom!” Encouraged by the positive response, she added, “And I pooped in that bathroom!” Will wonders never cease.

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