Onward & Downward

by pjmcbride

THIS JUST IN

Archer (who is now more than three and  a half, he wants us to know) was objecting to the sun being in his eyes. I told his mother, “I suppose Spider-Man is nocturnal.” He told me, “I’m not Spider-Man! These are just Spider-Man socks, and I have Spider-Man underwear on.” As it happened, my underwear and socks matched, also.

FROM ACROSS THE ROOM

“That’s a long way to drive to beat somebody up.” Yeah, but sometimes it’s worth it. Of course, I don’t drive. I’d be willing to walk to Nick’s house, though.

ADVENTURES WITH ALCOHOL

Officer’s comments on a run: “Subject was highly intoxicated. Did not remember calling 911, and said, ‘I’ll have to think about it.’ Was dressed only in his underwear and complained that his feet were cold. I advised him to close the window and put on socks. {Hey, I didn’t even notice I had a whole underwear/sock theme going here!} He asked me what time it was, and when I advised approximately 10:30pm, he wanted to know why it was so dark.”

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