I Stand Corrected

by pjmcbride

BUT FIRST…A POST I STARTED DEC. 29TH, NEVER FINISHED, AND FORGOT ABOUT:

Proctor & Gamble ad: “Celebrate 2015 with us!” Apparently celebrating 2015 will involve lots of paper towels and toilet paper. Speaking of which, you know you’re getting old when none of your peers have New Year’s Eve parties. And haven’t for years. Decades.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW

You know those cartoons with the old man/old year and baby/new year? Why do we never check out the year at its other ages? How about the toddler year (February?), the teenage year (April?), the young adult year (June?), the middle-aged year (September)?

AND NOW BACK TO OUR CURRENTLY-SCHEDULED CONTENT

Rom wants you to know that he did not, either, cook Thanksgiving dinner with a broken leg, because he broke his leg in February. (He did, however, cook Valentine’s Day dinner, in the special heart-shaped casserole dish–“Ideal for heart-shaped mashed potatoes!” the ad said. Who makes those?) The reason I remembered it being Thanksgiving is because he made Thanksgiving dinner after surgery on a blocked artery in his leg. We wouldn’t want Nick to feel oppressed by a standard of stoicism he could never hope to surpass. Nick is, however, getting better by leaps and bounds, minus the actual leaping and bounding.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DREAM

Supervisor Kurt the Birdman dreamed that I had a Pepto-Bismol pink car, which  looked like a cross between a Prius and a Smart car. Remember, my 60th birthday is coming up, and if I got a car for a present, I’d learn to drive! Well, I’d make a valiant attempt. OK, an attempt. Also remember my upcoming-in-4-months 60TH BIRTHDAY PARTY, the most outstanding social event never to occur! ‘Cuz, y’know, my name and “party planning” are pretty much synonymous.

 

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