Year-End Clearance

by pjmcbride

I know I’m supposed to come up with some sort of list, like Things That Annoyed Me in 2014, but I’m feisty with apple ale, so let’s just concentrate on the things that annoy me now. (Did you know a period looks the same in italics as it does otherwise?)

But first, let it be known that I’ve been misspelling kthnxbye. Apparently it’s supposed to be spelled kthnxbai. Kewl.

NOTE TO MEN:

Do not let your sex partner see that your bottle of personal lubricant is called “Gun Oil,” lest she snicker. (Spotted today at CVS, lest you think I made it up. And why would you think that?) (Obviously I’m spoiling for a fight, having downed 2 cans in quick succession.)

NOTE TO STORES:

Do you really think anyone is buying Valentine merchandise at this point? Wait until you’ve packed away the New Year’s Eve hats. Speaking of which, since we got started on that “2000” sparkly spectacles thing in that decade, we’ve been reluctant to give it up. “2015” is not really workable in that format, so let’s move on. I’m also inclined to think it’s a cruel joke on people who have to wear glasses, but pretty much everything seems like a cruel joke to me at the moment.

NOTE TO EVERYONE:

There is no requirement that you wear all the clothes you got for Christmas the day after Christmas.

Time to go see if caffeine can cancel out the effects of alcohol! I’ll report back if I feel like it.

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