Beasts Foreign and Domestic

by pjmcbride

 

E-MAIL FROM MY VET

Well, not my vet–my cats’ vet. “ACUPUNCTURE AS PAIN MANAGEMENT FOR PETS.” Well, if I tried that, I’d be needing pain management myself. They come with their own needles, you know.

ANOTHER E-MAIL

“Expert Feline Travel Tips.” I (and the cats) got one tip: Don’t.

SPEAKING OF BEASTS–

You know, sooner or later my neighbors are going to wonder why there was a police car in my driveway. With lights on I didn’t know they had, because he was trying to make us think he had me surrounded or something. The annoying part about these various encounters (well, one of the annoying parts–basically, it’s all annoy, all the time) is that I have to think twice so often–“Oh, I can’t just smack him, what would all these people at Thornton’s think?” “I can’t give him the finger and walk out–he’s in uniform!” You know, respecting the office, even though I’m no respecter of persons. Kind of a drag. We be immature and stuff. Nick, quit giggling.

…AND MORE BEASTS

An Internet {are we still capitalizing internet these days or not?} test said that, if I were a mythical creature, I’d be a dragon. This, even though troll was an option. (Nick, who actually is a mythical creature, begs to differ, but I will not allow him to do so.) They came to this conclusion because I don’t like to share (true), and I have a thick skin (untrue). Also a bad temper.

Well, I had a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to tell you, but since I was too lazy to do it before, it’s kind of slipped my mind…yeah, I promise to develop better work habits. Again.

 

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