Odds & Ends

by pjmcbride

DANGLING CONVERSATIONS

Conversation with a deputy:

Him: “Could you run a subject for me? She has a Minnesota I.D. card.”

Me, after running her name through the system: “She has a Minnesota I.D. card.”

Him: “I know. I’m looking at it.”

Um, why are we having this conversation?

There is a man in this town named Misery. I don’t mean in some artsy metaphorical sense. I mean his parents named him that. There is an alert on him: “Subject uses other names.” Well, who could blame him? Because, as Rom said, Misery loves company.

NICK GETS CONFUSED

Nick was harassed on a run by teenage girls across the street yelling, “You’re cute! You could handcuff me!” Yes,  Today’s Youth are experimenting with bestiality. Now, this fine beast has been put to stud service twice,  producing two fine cubs, but with these kinds of confusing messages, how can he be kept from humping people’s legs?

BEHAVIOR I’M NOT BRINGING TO ANYONE’S ATTENTION

Dear colleague who keeps putting a sharp knife in the drying rack pointy-side-up: You’re just waiting for me to stab myself, aren’t you?

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