I Am Not a Lifestyle Blogger

by pjmcbride

…actually, these days, you’re hardly a blogger at all, they whisper. Or is it just the voices in my head? Which brings me to our next episode of…

THOSE WHO CAN, DO; THOSE WHO CAN’T, CRITICIZE

I heard someone on TV referred to as a “well-known lifestyle blogger.” Now someone can be well-known without me knowing about them. That’s a given. But what the hell is a “lifestyle blogger,” exactly? It sounds like just someone spewing forth their opinions,  like I do here. But considering our society has figured out where babies come from–baby daddies!, you don’t want to know my opinions about lifestyles.

WORLD LEADER PRETEND: DON’T ENCOURAGE ME

I was at work, whining about age discrimination, and 911SK said, “Hey, you’ve got more clout than anyone else in this place!” What an intoxicating idea! Hell, I can’t even get people to quit wearing flip-flops, which I inveighed against, oh, about 100 posts ago.

CRISIS IN PROGRESS: OVERHEARD ACROSS THE ROOM

“Ma’am, I understand you’re upset, but the law doesn’t care about that.”

DON’T ASK ME QUESTIONS

Someone asked me, “Why don’t you just get a scooter?” Because I’m a nest of phobias, that’s why! I’m afraid to drive a car–why would I want to go rocketing through the air at many miles an hour without a metal casing around me?

STUFF I SAW ON THE SIDES OF TRUCKS

“Mosely’s Remodling”–I know it has nothing to do with how well you can remodel, but I’d be more inclined to trust you if you could spell “remodeling.”

“What About Siding?” –Well, what about it? It’s boring, that’s what!

 

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