E-I-E-I-O

by pjmcbride

Courtesy of TIME magazine:

Earwax can reveal lots of things about you! Researchers found that, when heated, it releases odor molecules that can give clues as to health, including indications of two specific urinary diseases. (One has to wonder if someone urinated in the ears of the volunteers.) The type of earwax you have also has something to do with your underarm sweat. (They did not specify the connection, and I certainly don’t care to speculate.)

–“Honey, how was your day at work?”

–“I heated earwax and then sniffed it.”

LET’S MOVE ON FROM THE STENCH OF BOILING EARWAX, SHALL WE?

Always a good idea.

An officer had me run a farm truck plate, and it returned to McDonald’s Family Farm. So Old McDonald did indeed have a farm. He had Farm Bureau insurance, too.

THE STORY THAT WILL NOT DIE

Remember the notorious gloves? I can’t return them, because they were on clearance. Unwept, unhonored, unworn. A story with onionlike layers of idiocy.

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