It’s the End of the World As We Know It, Yet Again

by pjmcbride

New Year's Eve

New Year’s Eve (Photo credit: besighyawn)

I can’t go to bed yet, it’s only 2:30! Let’s see what I have to say.

Did you spend New Year’s Eve at home?

Yes. You know you’re getting old when your peers no longer have New Year’s Eve parties.

Then why didn’t you host one yourself?

Are you serious?

Did you set off any fireworks in your back yard at midnight?

No. I did fire a gun once, but that was years ago.

Would you care to elaborate?

No.

–Are there any other things you think we should know about?

Yes. I mean, no, I don’t think you should know about them.

–So you’re actually a more interesting person than your quiet demeanor would lead us to expect?

Yes, but that’s kind of the purpose of this blog, now, isn’t it?

What kind of attitude is that to start a new year with?

Next question.

What is your favorite color?

Blue.

But didn’t you used to tell us it was black?

Yes, but I was just trying to shock you.

But didn’t you say at the time that you weren’t just trying to shock us?

I was lying.

But isn’t lying wrong?

No, because I was lying to myself as well.

What else have you lied to yourself about?

Don’t get me started.

We have plenty of time.

No, I need to go to bed now.

It’s only 2:47.

I need to get ready for bed! What is this, an interrogation?

No, you didn’t have any ideas for a post, so you decided to just sit down at the keyboard and see what happened.

And aren’t you glad I did? (Don’t all rush to answer that.) As David Letterman once said, “There’s no ‘OFF’ on the genius switch!” And as R.E.M. once said, “Give me a minute and I’ll tell you the setup of the worst joke ever…”

It’s 2:55. K…..THNX…..BYE.

 

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