Sorcerer’s Apprentice of Ice

by pjmcbride

Jack-o-lantern

Jack-o-lantern (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yeah, many days, no posts, etc.

The ice machine at McDonald’s was broken and wouldn’t turn off, so it just kept spewing ice. You’d be surprised how fast ice can pile up.

I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE, I WORKED HALLOWEEN

Remember my wish to be on a tac channel all shift? How about 3 of them? Thank you, felons of Evansville! My only Halloween-related calls were:

–“Should there be headlights in the cemetery after dark?” and

–“There’s a red-tailed fox out here, and I think it’s dangerous for the kids trick-or-treating.” Just a bit of friendly advice: It does not elevate our response level if you say there are children in the area. So just stop saying it.

And now it’s the day after Halloween, when the Authorities say we should trick or treat instead, because of the storm yesterday. As your World Leader, I must countermand this. Holidays are to be celebrated on the day of the holiday, no exceptions allowed. We often don’t have a white Christmas around here, but that doesn’t mean you get to reschedule it for the next day of significant snowfall. This applies to birthdays as well. No “My birthday is Thursday, but we’re celebrating on Saturday.” This is a slippery slope–you end up with, “My birthday is in January, but I don’t like cold, so we’re celebrating in May.” Yes, my personal birthday is in May. But if it were in January, I wouldn’t whine. OK, I would.

Speaking of holidays, today is All Saints’ Day. I remember an old children’s hymn, which said about the saints,

“…and one was a soldier, and one was a priest, and one was slain by a fierce wild beast, and there is no reason, no not the least, why I couldn’t be one too.”

I don’t know, that fierce wild beast might be a reason.

Speaking of fierce wild beasts keeping me from sainthood, I informed Nick that, if (not when!) we go on a ridealong, if he gets dispatched to a dead body, I’m staying in the car. “You’ll do as I say,” he answered grimly. No, I Just. Won’t. And what exactly do you plan on doing about it?

 

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