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by pjmcbride

U.S. Army Career Counselor Badge

U.S. Army Career Counselor Badge (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No post for 5 days? I wouldn’t put up with that if I were you.

Being ate up with inertia and stuff, I will merely observe that I’ve been answering phones for 2 shifts, which eventually makes insane seem a reasonable thing to be. Although my Career Counselor responded with, “It’s your job, deal with it,” I’d rather whine in front of an audience. So here I am, and here you are. Because if you can’t laugh at other people’s problems, what can you laugh at?

SAMPLE CALLS, LIGHTLY EDITED

–“I have a question, a problem, and a situation.” All three?

–“I don’t want to traumatize my child, but if the police came out, could they make him leave his mother and come with me?” Yeah, no trauma there.

–Someone intended to commit suicide by twisting his neck until it just wouldn’t twist no more. And if that doesn’t work, try holding your breath until you die.

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–Me: “Your name, sir?”

–Him: “I’m an unknown alien!”

–Me: “You are?”

–Him: “Yeah! Because everyone knows me!”

–Me: “Then how can you be unknown?”

–Him: “I don’t know.”

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I got called an ass for asking someone her location. (I think whining about that was what made my Career Counselor advise me to just deal with it.)

Ooh, ooh, Conspiracy news! Someone called to report HAZARDOUS CORN!! It was supposedly growing so high it impeded visibility. It turned out not to be that high, which means….could it have been…BABY CORN??

One final observation: The convenience store on the way to work has a machine next to the restroom door that lets you check if your lottery ticket won. I need to go to the bathroom…no wait, I need to check my lottery ticket….priorities, hmm…

 

 

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