Odds & Ends

by pjmcbride

conspiracy  or coincidence?

conspiracy or coincidence? (Photo credit: Loving Earth)

…but mostly odd.

First of all, apropos of my previous post, just remember that I was hired before the @ss-covering era of psychological testing, so you can draw your own conclusions. And I won’t allow you to draw your own conclusions very often, so enjoy it while you can.

Second of all, while we’re on the subject of The Conspiracy, I withheld a bit of information from you yesterday. It was excusable to withhold it from most of you, since it was a lot of data to absorb anyway, and I wanted to keep things simple. It was not, however, the sort of thing one should withhold from one’s Director of Security, so Nick, listen up. I KNOW WHO TAPED THE BABY CORN TO RABECCA’S DOOR HANDLE. He is nominally employed by the Sheriff’s Department, in the detective office. I will not mention his name, except to say that he could be referred to as the King of the Hill. Beware of him! He is the only person who has ever beaten my time taking the IDACS certification test. He has an infinitely devious mind. He is a follower of chaos out of control. AND HE UNDERSTANDS WHERE I GOT THAT LAST REFERENCE! It will require all your skills and vigilance to deal with him.

You should also know that, as I walked to work today, I saw white curly ribbon tied around the fire hydrant near Dispatch. This can only mean that we have been targeted for arson! Extra patrol is called for.

In non-Conspiracy-related news (or is it? Can one ever be sure?), someone’s voice mail that I called back said, “Foxy Lady is unavailable to take your call.” I missed my chance to say, “Foxy–or should I say Ms. Lady?–your cell phone dialed 911, so lock your foxy keypad, kthxbye!”

And, a guy told me, “I want to talk to an officer, since I’m not getting anywhere with you.” This was because I told him the police couldn’t arrest a guy just because our caller overheard him threatening someone on the phone, and our caller proudly said, “Yes, they can! I was arrested for that once!” Nick summed up the run with, “He wasn’t impressed with you.” Yeah, I get that a lot.

FanBase, have I told you lately that I love you?

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