Crisis in Progress/Mildly Amusing Adventures Duo
I was asked if I’d written an Easter post. I did not, basically because I thought my Easter Eve quote from John’s Gospel said it better than I could, and if you think the Gospel of John is a bunch of bull$hit, I don’t know what to tell you.
Moving from heavenly things to those of earth–the thing I was most surprised to learn when I started working with police officers is that they can be whiny and gossipy, and they can get scared in dangerous situations. In other words, they’re human beings! With real feelings and stuff! This makes it all the more amazing that they actually volunteer to drive toward, and not away from, these situations, like when I tell them, “Go over there and see if there’s really a tornado”–although that usually leads to a plaintive message, “What am I supposed to do about it if there is?” I don’t know, fire your gun at it and see if that deflates it. And, because Nick is waving his hand wildly and about to fall out of his chair, I will also say that the fact that dispatchers, too, are whiny and gossipy should come as a surprise to no one. So, in this spirit of mutual respect, let me just say to the ladies and gentlemen of law enforcement that if I send you somewhere, and you respond, “Clear, from **whatever location is at the farthest point away from the run**” (secret meaning–“Send someone else”), I am going to answer, “Clear, from 1331 Harmony Way” (secret meaning–“I don’t care, just go”). I swear, someday I will.
And now for the Mildly Amusing Adventures section: Since the Internet is all about over-sharing, I’m sure my FanBase wants to know that when I went to Walgreen’s today, I purchased toothbrushes, soap and deodorant for Rom (Old Spice Swagger, since he’s the swaggering sort), shampoo, and a product with packaging which states, “Advanced silicone technology! Ideal for water play!” Although the idea of “advanced technology” for the product in question is intriguing, I don’t know what “water play” is, and I’m afraid to Google it to find out. My FanBase should also know that my selected songs for in-shower karaoke last night were Simon & Garfunkel’s “I Am A Rock” and the Who’s “Sea and Sand” from Quadrophenia, and I rate my performance on those as a B+.